The Scene and Herd

This might come as a surprise to you, but the FOX news channel aired something totally unclassy last week. On the same day that Canada lost four soldiers in Afghanistan, a bunch of losers on a stupid show called Red Eye went on a four person rant about how useless our military is. I was really indignant at watching it, horrified even. Like any decent person, I was saddened by the idea that families of the dead solders might come across it. I also really love Canada, and while usually I couldn’t care less what Americans think of us, those guys on Red Eye were being over-the-top obnoxious about a country they obviously know nothing about.

But when the dust of my rage settled, I realized most of my indignation wasn’t about the dead soldiers, or the way my country’s reputation was soiled on American TV. Mostly I was upset that I had been exposed to the unintelligent and trashy views of the Red Eye panel. And now the clip is everywhere because they talked about Canada… I had never even heard of the show, but now those knuckleheads are permanently on my radar. They are a blemish on my view of life.

Westboro Baptist Church did something equally obnoxious last week by threatening to picket Natasha Richardson’s funeral. Like Red Eye, this incident plagues my head with a crass noisiness. I have a fascination for Westboro, along with a sick sense of responsibility because I attended a Baptist church in my youth and my parents still go there. Obviously, Westboro is not really a Baptist church so much as they’re a cultish hate group. But I’m still tied to them nominally and this irks me. On behalf of gay people and every other group they target, I am offended by Westboro. But I am also offended on behalf of myself … as a religious person.

 The collision of Red Eye with Westboro last week made me realize that when someone says something politically incorrect, I’m less concerned about the offended group than I am about my own sense of propriety. Each time Westboro goes off the deep end, I wish to God (seriously, as in I pray to God) that the religious lunatics would leave some room for the faith community to behave in public with some decorum.

And the Red Eye rant didn’t offend me as a Canadian; it offended me as a classy individual.

Racism, sexism, homophobia and random comments made about the Special Olympics can be dangerous and awful. But mostly they’re just tasteless and make for tawdry after dinner programming.  And that’s something we can all get angry about, in solidarity. 

There is a travel magazine in my bathroom with an ad on the back for some kind of overseas youth employment/volunteer program. “What if you only had one year to live?” it asks. “How would you spend it?” For a week or so this magazine has been sticking out of the magazine basket, just far enough to expose this question which assaults me every time I’m in there. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel sad. It makes me feel guilty and it does not make me want to volunteer abroad.

 I just leave the magazine there though. I should turn it over or shove it behind other magazines.

Years ago while in Scotland, Laura and I watched the 24 hour interactive big brother UK station a few times. Jade Goody was on the show then, just getting her start as a weirdo reality TV show star. She was… distinct, kind of crazy and terrible looking, very memorable. Back in Canada, I didn’t hear much about her aside from some racism fiasco. And then, earlier this year, she started publicizing her struggle with cancer. 

I know that most Canadians don’t know who she is, but she’s gigantic in the UK and she’s dying of cancer and everyone is watching it happen. Cameras have been everywhere, all the time. She got married a couple of weeks ago and sold the photos of the wedding so she could leave tons of money to her kids. And I just read that OK magazine is selling an “official” Jade Goody memorial issue right now, though she’s not dead yet.

 I want to feel bad and sad (and mad) for Jade Goody but her story is never placed in a redeemable context. Pictures of her bald and crying are stuck up right beside Kate Moss’ nip slip on celebrity gossip websites. Oh, and last week one of the Oasis brothers said he’s “got fuck all against Jade Goody but there’s a recession going on.”

I keep thinking about my professor of Literature 1832-1900, talking about babies laying dead in gutters every morning, exemplifying that culture’s relationship with death, exemplifying how we’re so soft to it now.

But Oasis wants to talk about the recession. And I never get that travel magazine ad rhetoric out of my face.

I can’t get excited about Jon Stewart’s high road last week. Sources keep reporting that he “won” but I saw the interview and… he won? Won what? It wasn’t a debate. It was Cramer appearing on Jon Stewart’s show and Jon Stewart was in control… much like when Stewart was on Crossfire a while back and they tore him apart but Stewart got points for being civil. 

When Stewart was on Crossfire, the Bow Tie Guy told him The Daily Show was a waste. Bow Tie said Stewart was irresponsible because he had the ear of big leaders but missed the hard hitting questions. However valid that charge, Stewart chose to defend himself by reminding Bow Tie that The Daily Show was comedy and aired after puppets making prank phone calls. And this resonated with me, because I agreed. Your audience matters and your intentions matter. Your responsibility shifts depending on your influence. So Stewart has his comedy show and can do whatever he wants. Great. I love the guy.

But now that I think about it, the parts of the Cramar interview that stood out to me were when Cramer said he thinks about ratings like everybody else, and when he said that he’s trying to present economics to the masses and make it exciting. And Jon Stewart told him “this is not a fucking game.”

But Stewart makes a game out of everything. And it’s funny. And when people who are not in the game are brought into the game, it’s funny. When the interviewee thinks they are giving a real interview but it’s really just nonsense, we laugh at them. I knew one of those interviewees. Her name was Marla. She used to tip me 20 bucks at Dufflet pastries. Marla didn’t know that the interview was fake and Samantha Bee made a monkey out of her.

So The Daily Show is funny to people that know what’s going on, to people that understand the genre and Jon Stewart’s intentions. And if Crossfire had told Stewart that “this is not a fucking game,” Stewart probably would have told them that they don’t get it. 

And Jim Cramer was running his own game over on CNBC and people didn’t get it and people got hurt. So Jim Cramer has no integrity and Stewart can destroy him and we can celebrate.

I’m troubled by this ill-defined line. When does someone become responsible? When they get on CNBC? When they’re hurting the economy instead of my friend Marla? Jim Cramer is probably a douche, but I think his “I’m trying to make economics exciting” is as valid as Jon Stewart on Crossfire saying he’s just comedy. 

And points to Jim Cramer for being civil….

The Wire’s got a hold on me. We finished the entire series on Sunday and I’ve been depressed since. I feel like I just broke up with someone… luckily, ironically, I don’t have to go through this alone…

But I see the face of The Wire everywhere I look.

1. My friend Nyron’s facebook has a picture of him in new glasses, to which his friend refers to as “The brother Mouzone” shot.

2. An article about the Michelle Obama homeless man cellphone debacle (in which right-wingers get upset that a guy with a cell phone goes to a soup kitchen…rich people that have obviously had ZERO contact with ANY poor people) refers to the disposable cell phone trend that we should all be aware of via The Wire.

3. A Macleans article that talks about gang violence in Canada and how Stephen Harper did an oddly humane and decent thing by holding a closed meeting with regional police chiefs and family members of gang murder victims and saying, “You’ve all got five minutes to tell me how to help.”

And Johnnie says “That’s what Carcetti should have done.”

This end is painful but I really learned a lot. My life and soul have been enriched and I am most certainly different.

I’m reminded of a Chuck Klosterman article in which he writes that when the Harry Potter demographic grows up they will dominate pop culture and constantly reference Harry Potter and he won’t even know it. And he won’t even know that he won’t know it.

In two decades, I will not be alienated or confused by passing references to Harry Potter; very often, I will be unaware that any reference has even been made. I will not know what I am missing. I’ll just feel bored, and I won’t know why.

Based on all the references to The Wire I’ve experienced in one short week, I was almost certainly bored before this wicked awesome series came into my life.

So some adjustment are at hand, but I’ve only well wishes. Go with God. I’m glad I knew ya.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20G17K_0ghU]

What I call “changing his mind” and “revising,”Albina Guarnieri, chair of Iggy’s “Kitchen Cabinet” calls “constantly  calibrating his thinking, like a Swiss watch.”

Nice one! I’m so infatuated. I could never come up with that… calibrating his thinking. Of course!

This is why I will never get to be part of MI’s breakfast club…

All this trouble over $3 billion is madness! I do not understand anyone’s deal! 

First of all, Stephen Harper, don’t you remember the agreement? Michael’s in charge. You’re on probation! But seriously, even if you weren’t, what’s your problem? The opposition wants to know how you’re going to spend $3 billion. How is that outrageous? Your response should have been,”hm… yeah okay. We’ll get you a copy of that.” Holy impulse reaction. Someone’s in a rut. 

Speaking of ruts, if Jack Layton ever says something decent without taking a jab at another party I’d be so surprised I’d probably throw up. His two cents on this thing:

Layton said the money should be added to gas tax transfers that go directly to municipalities. “That would get the money into their hands in weeks and they’d be able to put it to work immediately to create jobs,” he said in an interview.

Bravo! But wait…

“We certainly don’t support the creation of some sort of a blind trust that ministers can dip into and spend on their favourite projects without public accountability… We’ve seen that kind of fund go wrong so many times before. The Gomery Commission showed what happens when you get into that kind of plan.”

Kill two birds with one stone. Boring cheap shot.

My advice to all of them is to lighten up. You know that game people play where they list off all the things they would do with a million bucks? Well these guys get to do that for real, but with $3 billion! Holy crap!

If I got to spend $3 billion on the citizens (and permanent residents) of Canada, I’d be dying to share my plans with the opposition. Does anybody remember laughter?!

The suburbs drives you to all sorts of weird things; like bulk barn and town centres. Like video clips of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, a show you never thought was that funny aside from their Quebecois accent bit. But we were up until 1 am watching it, and this morning lo and behold! Iggy’s all over it. Hahaha. 

Oh, Iggy, I love.

And I love the suburbs and cars and town centres.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk041FoyipM]

Ignatieff announced he will run candidates in “all ridings!” including Elizabeth May’s.

I’d really like to know what prompted this announcement. Because I like to think that nothing prompted it. I like to think that Iggy just likes making announcements about how he’s changed his mind, about how the whole party has changed it’s mind… “We take it back!” 

This rumour that the Conservatives are planning to unleash attack ads about Iggy being a flip-flopper and an intellectual snob… I hope it’s true. Watching the Cons latch onto all that nonsense would be great fun. And I’m mos def going to launch my own counter campaign. 

Making Flippy Floppy. Oh Canada, I love you.