The Scene and Herd

“This photo of my granddaughter Beatrice and I was taken in July. My wife Olivia Chow and I had come to visit with Beatrice and celebrate my 59th birthday with the newest member of our family. Beatrice was 4½ weeks old.”

I used to vote NDP, but then Jack Layton really started to bug me. I agreed with a lot of his ideas but his presence was irksome, and it wasn’t the mustache (which I don’t really like, but also don’t feel the need to insult). I turned Liberal and never really thought about it again, until last week when Macleans put together a collection of photos depicting famous Canadians on summer vacation. Stephen Harper and Jack Layton were right in there with the bunch and the stark comparison of these two political leaders, both of whom are vying for my vote, really shed some light on my feelings about Layton.

Stephen Harper’s photo endeared me to him (he’s always going and doing that in spite of me) because he’s with his daughter (who looks relaxed in his presence) and he’s wearing wire rims, which look great!

Jack Layton’s photo is okay. There’s a sweet little baby in it and I don’t doubt that Jack Layton likes the baby (although I do doubt he really wanted to kiss it like that). The real problem comes in the description that Layton cooked up to go along with the photo in which he refers to the birthday he spent with his new granddaughter and his wife, Olivia Chow… No, I mean he refers to his wife as Olivia Chow. He calls her by her full name. That’s weird. Am I right, or am I right. And now that I think about it, he’s always done that.

It’s interesting that people are always saying Stephen Harper needs to lighten up when frankly; his summer photo put me quite at ease. Jack’s photo freaked me out as usual and now I know why: Jack Layton irks me because he’s irksome. I always thought there was some weirdo sub-conscious reason that I couldn’t trust him or that my perception was off or picking up on something minute, when in actuality I was picking up on something gigantic and clearly off. Call your spouse by their full name all the time and you’re just asking for folks to distrust you.

All this trouble over $3 billion is madness! I do not understand anyone’s deal! 

First of all, Stephen Harper, don’t you remember the agreement? Michael’s in charge. You’re on probation! But seriously, even if you weren’t, what’s your problem? The opposition wants to know how you’re going to spend $3 billion. How is that outrageous? Your response should have been,”hm… yeah okay. We’ll get you a copy of that.” Holy impulse reaction. Someone’s in a rut. 

Speaking of ruts, if Jack Layton ever says something decent without taking a jab at another party I’d be so surprised I’d probably throw up. His two cents on this thing:

Layton said the money should be added to gas tax transfers that go directly to municipalities. “That would get the money into their hands in weeks and they’d be able to put it to work immediately to create jobs,” he said in an interview.

Bravo! But wait…

“We certainly don’t support the creation of some sort of a blind trust that ministers can dip into and spend on their favourite projects without public accountability… We’ve seen that kind of fund go wrong so many times before. The Gomery Commission showed what happens when you get into that kind of plan.”

Kill two birds with one stone. Boring cheap shot.

My advice to all of them is to lighten up. You know that game people play where they list off all the things they would do with a million bucks? Well these guys get to do that for real, but with $3 billion! Holy crap!

If I got to spend $3 billion on the citizens (and permanent residents) of Canada, I’d be dying to share my plans with the opposition. Does anybody remember laughter?!